I stared at the head sister,dumbfounded.
She looked at me and held my left hand.
‘You heard me, Nnena…you have to do something.
I know it will hurt you to leave your child but you’ve gotten no choice at this stagw in time.
Just dee this an opportunity to give them a better life.
They can’t continue suffering with you.
Those kids are too beautiful and I don’t want them to continue staying here.
Other kids even before them has been given out for adoption’,the head sister said.
My eyes filled with tears as I looked at her.
‘That is because they don’t have parents!
They are motherless and fatherless but am here for my children’,I told her.
‘You are here for them with nothing??
God,Nnena… wisen up.
You have to do something about your plight.
If you go out there,you will only suffer with one one to help’,the head sister said as tears rushed down my face.
What type of life is this?
‘I…I can’t do that’,I said through tears.
The head sister breathed in and balanced back on her chair.
‘I will give you some time to think about it…you can go now’,the head sister said.
I slowly and quietly got up and left the office.
I went back to our room and found July and Jane sleeping on their bed.
Sleep of hunger.
Such beautiful children were supposed to be in a comfortable place with complete family.
I could not be sure if Josh was already married but I knew someday, somehow,he will get to meet his kids.
I could have taken them back to him but something kept pulling me down from doing do.
I sat beside them, looking at them and at the same time crying.
Am I ever capable of letting any of you go?
I asked myself as I watched them sleep.
Just then,Stella entered and quickly came to meet me.
‘So… what did she say…how did it go?’,she asked.
I looked up at her and waved my head.
‘She wants me to give up one of the twins for adoption’,I said and another round of tears came out of my eyes.
Stella kept quiet, looking at me.
‘They are just 4, Stella.
If I give one up for adoption…in the nearest future…she won’t know me again and I might end up loosing her… Stella,what do I do?’,I cried.
Stella sat down beside me.
‘But I thought you said they have a father..and you know him very well.
Even though you said you don’t want them to see you…is there no way you can try to link the children up with the father…and the family… even though if it’s one of the twins?’,Stella asked me.
My face became clear as I looked at her.
“What are you trying to say?’,I asked her.
Stella breathed in.
“We have to find a way…we have get a plan…this can’t continue’, Stella said to me.
I stared at her as my mind drifted into thinking.
What exactly do I do?
My mind drifted to Josh and Tiffany.
Where would they be now?
Tiffany would he probably married now, perhaps,with kids.
The thought of thinking about Josh with
another woman and kids of his own burned down my heart.
‘Nnena,we don’t need all this now…what we need exactly now is plan.
Tell me where exactly you once lived with this guy and his family’, Stella said to me and I told her.
There was silence between us for some time when Stella looked at me, expecting me to say something.
“I have a plan but I doubt it will work’,I said suddenly.
‘Please,say it…it might just work”,Stella persuaded and I breathed in.
“I don’t… don’t know if there is a way you can meet with Josh…I mean…a way you guys can be together…’,I stopped talking, scratching my hair in annoyance.
‘Let me just keep quiet..it won’t work’,I said.
‘Ofcourse it will… that is if Josh hasn’t gotten married yet.
The only thing I need to do is escape from the orphanage today without any notice.
Let me go and try my luck’,Stella said.
I looked at her.
Although,four years of friendship has deepened our care and closeness for each other,I still needed her to assure me she will never abandon and betray me.
“Promise me you will always keep me updated and never abandon me’,I said to her.
Stella looked bewildered at me.
“Do you ever think I will do such a thing?
Nnena…you might not know but you have long become the family I never had.
Never worry, everything will work out’,Stella said to me.
“What if he is already married?’,I asked her.
“I will get the information first when I get there to know how to present myself.
If he is married…then I will have to pretend as someone who is looking for an housemaid job’,Stella said and I nodded,as I breathed in deeply.
“So after getting closer to them…what do we do next?’,Stella asked.
“Let’s get that done first.
I need to gain some time from the head sister too then after that…I will tell you what next…when the time is right.
But please, Stella… promise you won’t betray me…
# To_be_continued .